Festival in the Parking Garage

Riding around Bangalore with different drivers has provided some of the best humor I have had while in India. Thankfully we are riding together, and not trying to execute an important plan, as they know 3 or 4 languages that I do not understand, and I on the flip-side, know ONE language, that they understand in a very limited fashion. It really makes for some interesting experiences. Some funny stories that stand out:

After riding with a guy who seems to hit the gas rather than the brake when he sees pedestrians:
Me: "Have you ever hit anyone?"
Driver: (enthusiastically) "Yes, Madam!"
Me: "REALLY???"
(Silence)
Me: "Were they seriously hurt?"
Driver: (Indian version of) "Pardon, ma'am"?
Me: (leaning forward, feeling inquisitive, making crashing gestures) "So you HIT someone with your car?"
Driver: (smiling, as he gets it now)....."Oh Noooo, Madam."


Talking about a festival weekend:
Driver: "It is festival in Bangalore."
Me: "Yes, it is! Where should I go to see some activities?"
Driver says 5 or 6 sentences and the only thing I understand is "hotel parking garage".


Driver is going fast, and a dog is looking like he is about to head across the street.
Me: "Watch out, we have a 4-legged friend ahead."
I giggle.
Driver giggles.
We continue to barrel towards the dog.
We get really close.
Dog is inching out.
Me: "Don’t hit that dog, Don't hit that dog, DON’T HIT THAT DOG!!!"
Driver giggles.
Dog lives.
I tell driver that if he hits a dog, I am pulling him out of the driver seat and am taking over.


Driver saying something about "someone from the US" and says the word "friend".
I am not sure if he is talking about a friend of mine or a friend of his, but when I get into these conversations, I am simply not giving up until we exhaust all possible options of understanding each other.
Me: "WHO is coming from the US?"
Me: "Is it someone I KNOW, or someone YOU KNOW?"
(I am speaking louder as I somehow think this will help.)
Driver: something something something "He is ill."
Me: "He is COMING TO INDIA AND HE IS ILL?"
Driver: "Yes, Madam".
I am still not positive who is coming, and why he is coming if he is ill.
I plan to follow up on this one as I see this guy a lot.


Me, standing outside before departing, clarifying the plan. I am telling driver to please stop at Marahathalli bridge. We need to pick someone up along the way.
He is silent.
He looks very confused.
I have provided a destination, yet this "stop" in between, creates a ball of confusion.
I begin using my hands and arms to try to assist with the explanation, and this demonstration ends with me looking like I am standing on a tarmac waving in an airplane. "We need to PICK HIM UP and then GO....We leave HERE...pick him up THERE, and GO.... We leave HERE....stop THERE...pick him up....GO."